Random words of love and affection

My cousin posted on her facebook that her child randomly said "I love you mom", and my first thought was the many times that my kids brought me to tears with random words of love and affection! It brought me back a few years ago to a car drive where I fought not crashing my car when blinded by tears. My children had put in the Rugrat's Paris cd..... and played the song of Cyndi Laupers - I want a mom who will last forever..... They sang the song with all their hearts, and the tears flowed! At first I tried to hide my tears from my trio of singers, but realized that I could not as I pulled the car over and sobbed with pride, and happiness! Every time I hear that song, I am brought back to that moment, and yes, I still cry. I will remember that moment, it being so powerful, I am sure it is permenately etched into my mind, I am sure Alzheimer's can not even steal that memory!
Relative to this thought - I worked as a nurse in all aspects of nursing including intensive care, pediatrics, oncology, and psych..... one thing that I learned in this work was that people only needed one thing, only craved one thing, and only regretted one thing.... to know they are loved, and having not said it at the right time, or even at all. One patient's mother sat by her dying daughter's bed, crying with guilt because her last words to her daughter were "hateful". She sobbed through her fingers, repeating primarily to herself, "I should have told her I loved her despite the fact that I was angry at her, I should have told her that she was so important to me, and that I was trying to do what was best for her...... I should have told her I loved her!!!" The wailing grew as her daughter took her last breath, and the last thing I heard her mother say to her support person as she was led from our unit was "I was too late, I didn't say I love you".
I grew up in a family where the words I love you were not spoken, and in actuality, a swat on the side of the head was the only form of "love" expressed in my home. So growing up to be a partner and parent who used the words with ease was not the norm. It was a struggle for me to learn to say "I love you", but I persevered, and nothing trains a woman in the area of expressing emotions of love like raising a child. I had never known the power of love until my first born child was placed in my arms and like a breaker switch that is flipped to it's on position, flooding the room with light, my heart learned the meaning of love, the power of love... turned on by the warmth of an eight pound child. My love for my children continues to grow daily, and my ability to say it as well, fostered by the rare glimpse into the lives of those who had reserved the words, or worse replaced them with hateful, thoughtless phrases they would live to regret.
I learned to turn the angry words to loving words when challenged by my youngest who stormed to her room, arms crossed tightly across her chest as she stomped up the stairs after being told to go to her room for bad behaviour. She yelled at me with all her anger "I HATE YOU!" and thank God I had the presence of mind to respond the way I did, but some higher being had to have whispered into my ear.... say I love you because I did. Each time I answered her I hate you with"Well, I love you!" her anger dissipated and a smile broke out across her face... until it turned into an "I love you too, but I am still mad"! to which I responded "me too".
So learn from my wisdom, if you can call it that. Be sure to tell your children you love them, day and night, even if you are not comfortable saying the words. Eventually they will feel very normal and come from your lips easily and with meaning. Your words may be the ones that keep your confused teen from ending his life. Your words may be the ones that send your child to school smiling, energized and ready to conquer the world with the power of love! Show your children frequent Random Words of Love and Affection!